The divorce is final, the papers are signed and all property and custody issues resolved, yet you find yourself looking at your ex-wife across the court barrier, with longing and nostalgia for past times! Stop, take a step back and analyze your feelings.
Is this just a gut reaction to your loss or is there something deeper? If you’re still in love with your wife and realize that she is the only woman for you, spend some time figuring out why the marriage ended and where the responsibility for the breakup lies.
Prevention is better than the cure! Don’t ignore early warning signals, which indicate that your marriage is in trouble. Sit down with your spouse and discuss what’s going wrong without getting into the blame game and nasty arguments.
You don’t want a divorce, but your wife does so begging and pleading most likely will not help your case at all. Remember, that women tend to naturally hang on to their relationships, in spite of many troubles and if your wife has gotten to the point where she feels divorce is the only way out, then your marriage is in REAL TROUBLE!!
At this point, you need to understand and accept that the problem may be because of your attitude and actions. Mere words may no longer impress or convince your wife, you will need to prove that you’re willing to change and work on rebuilding the marriage with your actions.
Giving in to your ex-wife’s demands unconditionally or making changes to the personality, which fundamentally defines you or kowtowing to your ex-wife, in general, is not the way to get back your ex-wife. After all, your ex may not be looking for a yes-man or a wimp who allows himself to be browbeaten!
She’d rather have the man she first met and love with, while being accepting of changes, which have taken place during the intervening years. Be dispassionate while dissecting the issues, which plagued your marriage.
While doing so, reflect on what could have been done differently what would have helped in resolving them. Sit down together and discuss how you can make things right and to what extent you’re both willing to compromise to make the marriage work.
Stay positive, keep your misery and depression in check and above all, learn to let go if there are no chances of things working out. Being clingy and overly apologetic will definitely not help you win your ex-wife back!
Furthermore, also remember that one of the main causes of a divorce is lack of communication. If you truly want the relationship to work then you may need to do what you should of done before your wife filed-get marriage counseling.
Besides, if your wife that you claim to love so much is like many woman she may have even suggested it to you. Perhaps that is part of your answer. Maybe you need to consider this suggestion in the event your wife will even consider taking you back.