Getting an Ex back – Dos and Don’ts

Relationships often don’t last forever, except maybe in fairy tales and movies! Many of us have gone through the painful heartbreak of breaking up with a significant ‘other’ and felt like it was the end of the world!

A cardinal rule to remember here is that relationships will last as long as both partners are willing to work at it.  Learn to compromise and accept that there will be ups and downs in the course of relationships.

If you’re one of those individuals who’s convinced that your ex was the best thing that ever happened to you and are determined to win him/her back, here are some simple tips, guiding you on what and what not to do!!

Helpful Tips

• Kick that depression! Wallowing in misery is a great way to gain the sympathy of your family and friends, but don’t make it a habit. While it is natural to feel depressed and sad at the end of the relationship, you need to work at getting out of your miserable state and think and act positively, if you intend to get your ex back.

• Step back and create some space between yourself and your ex. Constantly bombarding the ex with phone calls, mails, text messages, etc, is NOT the way to go, if you want your ex back. You’ll end up being characterized as neurotic, dependant and clinging – like poison ivy!

Your obsessive and constant attempts to get in touch with your ex will actually end up driving him/her further away. Relax, step back and make some time for yourself instead. Get a makeover or your hair done, start an exercise program, indulge in your favorite pastimes.

You want your ex to see you as a strong and independent individual with an interesting and enjoyable life, even while you’re solo and this new perception of you might actually have them thinking about getting back together!

• Make a concerted effort-this time! Perhaps you were a jerky man or a selfish woman who in the past who never wanted to put your equal time into a relationship as Spend some time thinking and working out the problems, which plagued your relationship. Spend more time on this relationship to work it out than you used to do.

The cliché – time heals all – is not actually true! It also requires a dispassionate and fair look at the problems, faults of both people in the relationship and what you could have done to set things right. Once you’ve analyzed what went wrong and why; start working on resolving these issues.

Accept that you are equally, if not more, responsible for the troubles in your relationship and work on getting them right. This way, you will be able to talk out your relationship troubles with your ex and impress them with your logic and commonsense.

Once you’re back together, don’t slide back into your old self or get back to living in la-la land! Work on the relationship, give each other space and watch the relationship grow and flourish!